Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday December 5, 6 and 7 organizing a news story


Today is a national day of mourning for the late former President George H.W. Bush. That means a lot of government agencies will be closed and regular mail service suspended. 


NYPD drones 
 
Drones are coming to the nation's largest police force, and while they may have some seriously helpful applications, New York civil rights groups worry they could open the door to some Orwellian levels of privacy invasion. The NYPD announced it will start using a fleet of 14 drones: 11 small ones, two large weather-resistant ones with thermal imaging and zoom capabilities, and one testing drone. They'll be used to document crime scenes and collisions, monitor crowds and traffic at events, gather information at hazardous scenes, and even be used during hostage situations. They won't be used for routine patrol or traffic enforcement or to monitor citizens. Still, the New York Civil Liberties Union says it's concerned the department's policies don't place many official limits on drone use. NYPD says more than 900 police, fire and emergency units around the country already use drones in some form.



To start, you will find the correct responses from Monday's quotation assignment. Check them over and review. That is the grade you received.


1. "Did you see that new movie ?" asked my friend. 


2. When she saw his new Mercedes, she exclaimed, "What a beautiful car !" 



3. I just finished reading Shirley Jackson's short story, "The Lottery ." 



4. Did Jack really say, "It's not my responsibility "? 



5. The composer asked if the orchestra would play this Thursday . (no quotation marks) 



6. "I'm going to the newsstand ," he said , " for a copy of the newspaper ." 


7. "You're out of your mind !" exclaimed Tony, slamming the door. 



8. The professor asked, "When was the treaty signed ?" 



9. The mayor promised that the project would be completed in two months . (no quotation marks) 



10. "The Wasteland " is a poem by T. S. Eliot. 

11. "Did you see that new movie ?" asked my friend. 

12. When she saw his new Mercedes, she exclaimed, "What a beautiful car !" 

13. I just finished reading Shirley Jackson's short story, "The Lottery ." 


14. Did Jack really say, "It's not my responsibility "? 


15. The composer asked if the orchestra would play this Thursday . (no quotation marks) 


16. "I'm going to the newsstand ," he said , " for a copy of the newspaper ." 

17. "You're out of your mind !" exclaimed Tony, slamming the door. 

18. The professor asked, "When was the treaty signed ?" 

19. The mayor promised that the project would be completed in two months . (no quotation marks) 

10. "The Wasteland " is a poem by T. S. Eliot. 

********************************************************************************************


NEW ASSIGNMENT: when sending in parts 2 and 3 together, label organizing a news story
Part 1: reading. 
Part 2: organizing a story through an inverted pyramid
Part 3:

Part: FIRST REVIEW THESE 6 RULES. 

Note these terms: attribution, blind lead

Attribution is stating who said something. Attribution is essential in all the media, including radio and television. Journalists do it so that your readers or listeners can know who is speaking or where the information in the story comes from. You can use attribution for both spoken and written information, so that you attribute information gathered from interviews, speeches, reports, books, films or even other newspapers, radio or television stations. 

2.




Rule #1A straight news lead should be a single 

paragraph consisting of a single sentence, should contain no 

more than 30 words, and should summarize, at minimum, the 

most newsworthy "what," "where" and "when" of the story.

Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday 

morning."

The lead is a single-sentence paragraph. Note, please, that a lead 

should be written in ordinary English, not the clipped phrasing

 reserved for headlines like "Main Street home destroyed in early 

morning fire."

 Headlines, which appear in large print above the stories they 

introduce, are written that way to conserve space.

It contains 10 words -- far fewer than the 30-word limit. Notice 

that the word count includes even little words like "a" and "on."

It summarizes the main "what" of the story, which is that fire 

destroyed a house.

It also provides the "where" of the story with the phrase "on Main 

Street."

Finally, it gives the "when" of the story with the phrase "early 

Monday morning."

Important note: There are some mental gymnastics involved in 

correctly conveying the "when" of a newspaper story. Suppose, for

 example, that today is Monday, and the fire happened this 

morning. You might be tempted to write the lead like this: "Fire

 destroyed a house on Main Street early this morning." And doing 

so would be just fine if your lead were going to be published that 

same day. But most newspapers get printed overnight and 

distributed the following morning. That means that a reader who 

picks up the paper Tuesday morning and reads that the fire 

occurred "this morning" will inaccurately assume that "this 

morning" means "Tuesday morning." To avoid this problem, you 

have to write the lead - and, indeed, the entire story - so that it will

 be accurate when read during the reader's time frame: "Fire 

destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday morning."

Rule #2: The lead's first verb should express the main "what" of

 the story and should be placed among the lead's first seven words.

Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday 

morning."

The verb "destroyed" expresses the main "what" of the story.

"Destroyed" is the lead's second word -- a position that puts

 "destroyed" well in front of "Street," the lead's seventh word.

Again, notice that the word count includes even little words like 

"a" and "on."

There are no other verbs in front of "destroyed," so "destroyed" is 

the lead's first verb.

Following this rule will force you to quickly tell readers what the

 story is about.




Rule #3: The lead's first verb -- the same one that expresses the 

main "what" of the story -- should be active voice, not passive

 voice.

A verb is active voice if the verb's subject did, is doing, or will do 

something.

Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday 

morning."

"Destroyed" is the verb.

"Fire" is the verb's subject.

"Fire" did something. It destroyed.

A verb is passive voice if the verb's subject had, is having, or will 

have something done to it.

Example: "A house was destroyed by fire on Main Street early 

Monday morning."

"Was" is the verb.

"House" is the verb's subject.

"House" had something done to it. It "was destroyed."



Rule #4: If there's a "who" involved in the story, the lead should

 give some indication of who the "who" is.


First example: "An elderly Murfreesboro man died Monday when

 an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."

The "who" is "an elderly Murfreesboro man."

In this case, the "who" probably isn't someone whose name readers

 would recognize.

As a result, the "who" angle of the lead focuses on what things 

about the "who" might make the "who" important to the reader. In 

this case, it's the fact that the man was older and lived in

 Murfreesboro.

That's called writing a "blind lead." The man's name will be 

given later in the story.

Second example: "Murfreesboro Mayor Joe Smith died Monday 

when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."

Smith is the local mayor, and most readers probably will recognize

 his name.

As a result, the lead gives his name.

Rule #5: The lead should summarize the "why" and "how" of the 

story, but only if there's room.


Example: "An elderly Murfreesboro man died early Monday

 morning when fire sparked by faulty wiring raged through his 

Main Street home."

"... fire ... raged through his Main Street home ..." explains why the 

man died.

"... sparked by faulty wiring ..." explains how the blaze began.

Rule #6: If what's in the lead needs to be attributed, place the

 attribution at the end of the lead


Example: "Faulty wiring most likely sparked the blaze that 

claimed 

the life of an elderly Murfreesboro man last week, the city's arson

 investigator concluded Monday."

Attribution is simply a reference indicating the source of some 

bit of information.

In this case, the attribution is the phrase, "the city's arson 


investigator concluded Monday."

Generally, attribute assertions that represent anything other than 

objective, indisputable information.

Here, there should be no doubt in anyone's mind that the man is 

dead, that his house was destroyed, that it all happened early

 Monday morning, and that he house was on Main Street.

But the arson investigator's assertion that faulty wiring caused the

 blaze represents the investigator's opinion (based, of course, upon

 his training and expertise - but an opinion nonetheless). Therefore, 

the assertion needs to be attributed to the investigator so readers 

can decide how credible the assertion is.


With the inverted pyramid, the guiding principle is that the most 

important (and most recent) information goes on top. As the reader

 progresses through the story, the information gets less and less

 important, and older. In an inverted pyramid story, the story is not 

told chronologically. Instead, we put the climax at the beginning.

 It’s the result that readers care about.

Sprinkle in a few key quotations from your sources, and you have

 — voila! — a classic inverted pyramid news story.


Why is the inverted pyramid so important to

 journalists? 

1.For readers:  they can skim the top of a story and know they 

have read the most important information.


2. For editors:  they can cut the bottoms off of a story and know

 they’re still saving the most important part for readers.

3. For writers: they have an easy way to organize their thoughts —

 from most important to least important.


Assignment part 2: due on Friday with part 3 (coming up after 2 here.) 

Note again, send both together!that there are 2 parts. 

Part 2: Below you will find a news story 

consisting of 15 paragraphs. (by now, I am sure

 you realize how short a news story paragraph

 can be.) Demonstrate your understanding of

 the inverted pyramid, by organizing the story

 from the most to least important information. 

Copy and paste the correct organization onto a

 word document.





This is NOT a rearrangement of a list, but the writing of a news story. See example:

An 18-year-old SUNY Geneseo student was killed in a crash Tuesday afternoon, deputies say.
It happened just after 2:30 p.m. at the intersection of Route 63 and Court Street in Geneseo. According to investigators, a truck hit the side of a sedan. When deputies got on scene, they say they girl was trapped in the vehicle.
"It is pretty scary if you don't see the stop sign right away," says Kelli Sperino-Pease, Geneseo resident. "The trucks are coming down this road pretty quickly."
Sheriff Thomas Dougherty says the preliminary investigation shows that the 18-year-old pulled into the path of the tractor trailer. We asked if a car sitting at the stop sign on Court Street can easily see traffic coming north.








Demonstrating the inverted pyramid





Iowa Dam Ruptures Under Torrential Rain
By CHRISTINA CAPECCHI, Published: July 24, 2010 in The New York Times 
PARAGRAPH 1
 Rising waters washed out the berm, and large chunks of the road on the dam broke off. “It just peeled off eight-foot sections and dumped them,” said Shirley Helmrichs, the Delaware County supervisor. “The light poles started falling like matchsticks; they just started snapping over. You could hear this crunching, this rumbling. It was like the dam was just growling.
PARAGRAPH 2
The vortex on the lake side of the dam shredded boats, docks and trees, Ms. Helmrichs said. “It just took seconds to shuck them through,” she said. “From perfect to tiny crumbs.
PARAGRAPH 3

“All the entertainment was canceled,” Mr. Dirks said. “We have to come up with something.” 

PARAGRAPH 4
Heavy rain ruptured the Lake Delhi dam on Saturday, sending a torrent into the Maquoketa River below and forcing the evacuation of hundreds of homes and vacation cabins in eastern Iowa. Officials estimated that 8,000 people were affected by the flooding. No injuries or deaths were reported.
PARAGRAPH 5
.”Unrelenting rainfall — 15 inches in the past 48 hours, according to Jeremy Sands of the Delhi Fire Department — caused the early afternoon breaching of the 83-year-old dam. “The dam wasn’t unsafe,” Firefighter Sands said. “It’s just one of those acts of God.”
PARAGRAPH 6
Ms. Helmrichs said she saw a house topple off its foundation. “It just tumbled down, slow motion, into the river,” she said. “It was just so eerie.”
PARAGRAPH 7
At least half a dozen homes were swept away in the flood, according to another Delhi firefighter, Dennis Wilson. “There’s so much turbulence that it washes the soil away from under it, and the houses go with it,” he said. “We’ve never seen anything this wild.”
PARAGRAPH 8
Warning sirens sounded in nearby Hopkinton, a town of 700, and Monticello, which has 3,700 residents. The waters reached thousands of acres of farmland and rose to record heights at several points.
PARAGRAPH 9
Ms. Helmrichs estimated that 700 homes and cabins were evacuated.
PARAGRAPH 10
The flood crested in Manchester, north of the dam, at 24.5 feet, clearing the record of 21.66 feet, set in 2004, according to Mr. Ryan, the emergency manager. “Doing disaster assessment is going to be a nightmare,” he said.
PARAGRAPH 11
The flood became the main attraction at the Jones County Fair in Monticello, where performances by Styx and Joan Jett Saturday night were canceled.
PARAGRAPH 12
Locals packed up and sandbagged, watching and waiting, while a sparse crowd of visitors milled through the muddy fairgrounds.
PARAGRAPH 13

A section of earth about 125 feet wide and 40 feet deep gave way, said the Delaware County emergency manager, Mike Ryan. “It’s the worst damage I’ve been associated with,” he said.

PARAGRAPH 14
At the Kathy’s Kettle Corn stand, Jamey Dirks, 40, said he sold about 30 bags of popcorn when he typically would have sold 500. He put up a sign: “Boat races Sunday 1:00 p.m.”
PARAGRAPH 15

Gate attendants stopped charging admission by 4 p.m., and by 5 p.m., a booth selling $3 beer tickets was abandoned.





Inverted pyramid checklist: This is the rubric with which you will be graded.


a. Does your story begin with a solid straight news lead, one that meets all five of

 our criteria.


b.Is the story free of unattributed opinion?


cAre the paragraphs arranged by order of importance? With background 


material generally relegated to the bottom?


d. Are there adequate quotes? from clearly identified sources? Punctuated 


properly?


e. Do the transitions work between each paragraph?

    Part 3: (send along with your part 2) Write a complete news story in inverted-pyramid form

    based upon the following facts. Note how short the paragraphs


     are! Keep to the facts, but adjust to your own personal style.


     This is not an essay, but a news story!

    • A female coyote was captured Thursday.

    • The coyote had been roaming the streets of Lower Manhattan in New York City.

    • A coyote captured uptown in January was set loose in Pelham Bay Park in the Bronx.

    • By law, coyotes captured in the city must be released within the five boroughs.

    • Officials at the parks department refused to say Friday where in the city they intend to release her.

    • The city wants to prevent people from harassing the 30-pound coyote in her search for a more suitable habitat, said Vickie Karp, a spokeswoman for the department.

    • “We pick the largest and most suitable natural habitat for the coyote,” said Vickie Karp, a spokeswoman for the department. “And for the sake of people, we’ll put the coyote somewhere with plenty of open space so people don’t have to say, ‘You parked him in front of my house.’”

    • The coyote is being monitored at the Animal Care and Control shelter on East 110th Street, parks officials said, adding that the animal is resting comfortably in the and they did not know when she would be released.



    • With the increase in coyote sightings in the past few years, several New York agencies have been working together to develop a plan on managing the population, said Kevin Jeffrey, a deputy parks commissioner.

    Tuesday, December 4, 2018

    Tuesday, December 4 reported speech

    reported speech

     What you have below is today's work on paraphrasing and direct quotes.  
    Yesterday you refreshed yourselves with the review exercise on direct quotations. If you need, check back on the rules. At this time I should have received yesterday's work from everyone.  

    Send along as usual.  Thank you.




    Today's work continues with quotations. This time you are simplifying, paraphrasing, using reported language and correcting 8 leads.  Read carefully. Yours might not look like your neighbor's.

    Learning Target: I can recognize and correct weak news leads and add in effective quotations.

    Before beginning the assignment, take a look at three leads that exemplify how quotations are inserted after the lead.

    1. Hilton woman gets traffic ticket from a place she's never visited

    Claire Cleare

    Hilton, N.Y. - It's one thing getting a traffic ticket if you know you're guilty. But that's not the case for a Hilton woman. Kim Rogers said there's no way she's guilty as charged.
    A baffled and frustrated Rogers is trying to make sense of a traffic court notice she got in the mail on Monday.
    "I was so just, like, flustered," Rogers said.
    The traffic bureau claims Rogers' car inspection expired in September. But according to the inspection sticker on her 2003 Volvo, she has until the end of November.
    The notice has the correct license plate number and other information.
    "When I read it, I thought, what? What are they talking about?" she said.
    She questions the ticket because it’s from Nassau County on Long Island, a county she claims she, nor her car, have never been to - a place now slapping her with a $170 fine for the violation.
    “I was never there. I didn't even know where it was. I had to look it up,” Roger said. “I never had invalid registration or anything.”
    Rogers called the agency to try and get things straightened out.

    2. Avon first grader's assembly performance is an internet hit

    by Matt Molloy

     AVON, N.Y. -- A little girl with a big voice from Avon has thousands of new fans on Facebook. Her performance at a school assembly has made her an internet hit.

    If you ask 6-year-old Quinn Kenyon’s mother there is little doubt, she was born to sing.
    "One of the nurses at Strong hospital said when she was screaming in the nursery, we've got a singer on our hands,” Miranda Kenyon said.
    Quinn, a first grader in Avon, is in two choirs and she isn't shy about her talent.
    "I like singing because I have a beautiful voice,” said Quinn.
    When she was given the opportunity to perform at the school's Veterans Day assembly, there was no hesitation.
    "I held my breath the entire performance,” said her mom, Miranda.
    "That's actually the first time I've sung on a real stage,” said Quinn.
    There was no stage fright for this 6-year-old star. She practiced the national anthem for just a week before her big performance.
    "Everybody is like, 'you did a great job. I want to have your autograph,'” said Quinn.
    "I cannot even describe and put into words how proud both my husband and I are of her and how courageous she was,” said her mother.
    3. 

    Trump on Putin's denial of meddling in US election: 'I believe him'

    Oliver Holmes in Da Nang




    Play Video
    1:07
     Trump and Putin chat at Apec summit - video


    Donald Trump has said he believes Vladimir Putin spoke genuinely when the Russian president denied meddling in last year’s US election.
    Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One on a flight leaving from an international summit in Vietnam, Trump said the two world leaders had “two or three very short conversations”.
    Trump did not respond to a direct question on whether he believed Putin’s denial was accurate but then appeared to say he found the former KGB’s agents words convincing.
    “He said he didn’t meddle. He said he didn’t meddle. I asked him again. You can only ask so many times. I just asked him again. He said he absolutely did not meddle in our election. He did not do what they are saying he did,” Trump said.
    **********************************************************************************************
    Paraphrasing

    When paraphrasing information, attribute it to a source at the beginning or end of a sentence.

    Example: Several factors could determine how quickly a fire engulfs a resident’s room, Frederick said.
    Important ruleIt is always said. Don’t use pointed outclaimed or any other verb that could be perceived as biased.
    A person’s name or a pronoun always precedes said.
    Always attribute information that came from a source and is not general knowledge.
    DIRECT QUOTES

    If the quote is one sentence, attribution for direct quotes goes at the end of the quote.

    Example: “Shouting is not going to help,” McCaskill said.
    If the quote is more than one sentence, the attribution goes after the first sentence and before the rest of the quote.

    Example: “My job is to represent the people of Missouri,” she said. “Period.”






    INSTRUCTIONS: Rewrite the following  eight quotations more simply as paraphrases. Also correct any errors in grammar and  punctuation. Correct for jargon, difficult vocabulary, long sentences and wordiness. Note that Associated Press (AP) style allows for contractions.

    1. “To tell you the truth, I would, uh, I’d be disinclined to recommend buying any shares of General Motors at this, uh, present moment in time,” the financial planner said.      
    2. “I want to tell you that, like, uh, you know man, what we’re aiming for is to get everybody to realize that, uh, suicide is never an acceptable option for anyone under any circumstances, not even like, uh, the terminally ill,” she said.
    3. “My brother was driving down this road and, uh, at first I didn’t know what happened. Like I wasn’t watching the road or nothing and didn’t know what the hell it was.  Then, uh, so I looked out the back window and saw this kid lying all bloody and dead on the road.  Then I knew what we’d hit,” he said.
    4. “In the end, there will be winners and losers in any sporting event, but the new rules on taunting are much needed to prevent winners from creating a negative atmosphere in sporting contests. Spiking a football in the end zone or raising one’s arms in triumph is one thing, but it is another, as many people on this panel have pointed out, to stand in front of someone taunting them or throwing the ball at them and cursing at them. Referees and officials need to control the game and these new rules are designed to help them do just that,” the commissioner of the NCAA said.
    5. “Although there have been advances in finding a vaccine for HIV, there are still too many cases worldwide and not enough effort by the industrialized nations to fund research to defeat this scourge. It will take the combined efforts of many nations to make the medical breakthroughs necessary to overcome this disease,” the representative of the World Health Organization said.
    6. Jeffrey R. Ahsonn said, “Fishing is a great sport enjoyed by millions of people, young and old. Like many people who learned to fish at a young age, my dad got me hooked on fishing—no pun intended. I can remember early mornings when fog still shrouded the lake or warm, lazy summer afternoons when my dad would grab his rod and reel and say, ‘Come on, son, it’s time to see if the fish are biting.’ I have such great memories of those times.”
    7. “I will never understand how any responsible legislature would pass, or any state representative or senator in their right mind would vote for, or any governor who would willingly sign legislation that would allow drivers of automobiles to drive without using seatbelts. I never, never in my life, thought that this state would consider repealing the state’s mandatory seatbelt laws. If any law was ever more effective in saving the lives of the state’s motorists, I have not seen it. This is, what can I say, insanity run wild,” the director of Mercy Hospital said today.
    8. “There is a greater likelihood that children living in a single-parent household that is headed by a male parent will have medical insurance than a single-parent household headed by a female parent. Research has found that 40 percent of children living with a male single parent have health insurance coverage while only 19% of children living with a female single parent have such coverage”. Said Health and Human Services spokesperson Jenna Olivetti.

    Sunday, December 2, 2018

    Monday, December 3 quotation review


     

































    quotation mark
    noun
    1. each of a set of punctuation marks, single (‘ ’) or double (“ ”), used (1) either to mark the beginning and end of a title or quoted passage or (2) to indicate that a word or phrase is regarded as slang or jargon or is being discussed rather than used within the sentence.


       

    ASSIGNMENT TODAY:  The next step after writing your news lead is inserting a quotation. Let's begin by reviewing the rules for quotation usage.  Note particularly the use of a quote within a quotation! Please take your time to read the following. When you have finished there is a practice exercise. Please complete and send along. 
       
    1. To enclose titles of minor works: articles, essays, poems, songs, chapters of 
    books, short stories, episodes of radio/TV programs.
        
    Examples
                   
       
       
       
    2. To enclose  words used ironically or where the term so-called could be inserted.
    Examples
           
       
       
       
    3. To enclose a direct quotation:   a person's exact words
       
                 Example
         
       
    NOTE:  Do not use quotation marks to enclose indirect quotations.   
               Incorrect
                    






               Correct
                
        
          
       
    NOTES FOR DIRECT QUOTATIONS:
        
    1. Start the quotation with a capital letter.
    2. Place commas and periods INSIDE the quotation marks.
    3. Place semicolons and colons OUTSIDE the quotation marks.
    4. Place question marks and exclamation marks INSIDE the quotation marks if the quotation itself is a question or an exclamation.

    5.  Place question marks and exclamation marks OUTSIDE the quotation marks if the quotation itself is NOT a question or exclamation.



    USE SINGLE QUOTATION MARKS to enclose a quotation inside another quotation.
         

    Examples
                   


    If the quotation within another quotation is a question or an exclamation, place appropriate punctuation next to the item concerned.

                Examples

    Question quotation inside statement quotation 





    Statement quotation inside question quotation
     




      
              
    Question quotation inside question quotation 


    Exclamation quotation inside question quotation
                                                     or
    Question quotation inside exclamation quotation


    Webapps.towson.edu, webapps.towson.edu/ows/punct2.aspx#quotation_marks.


    Please rewrite the following sentences, inserting quotation 

    marks and other punctuation as needed. READ CAREFULLY.


    1.  Did you see that new movie asked my friend 


    2.  When she saw his new Mercedes, she exclaimed What a beautiful car



    3.  I just finished reading Shirley Jackson's short story The Lottery



    4.  Did Jack really say It's not my responsibility


    5.  The composer asked if the orchestra would play this Thursday



    6.  I'm going to the newsstand he said for a copy of the newspaper 



    7.  You're out of your mind exclaimed Tony, slamming the door



    8.  The professor asked When was the treaty signed



    9.  The mayor promised that the project would be completed in two months



    10.  The Wasteland is a poem by T.S. Eliot


      11. Paul asked Did you read Keat's poem Endymion 


    12.  Do you remember Joe asking Is anybody here she asked 


    13.  Shall I read aloud Milton's poem On His Blindness she asked


    14.  Weren't my exact words We all heard Harry yell Help


    15.  I enjoyed the poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock said Harold


    16.  What did Joe mean Mary asked when he exclaimed She's gone 



    17.  Do you think that The Star Spangled Banner is hard to sing he asked


    18.  The conductor said I want you to sing Schubert's Ave Maria


    19.  The conductor said I want you to sing Schubert's Ave Maria


    20.  We all heard Alfred say Bill asked Who is the new president of the organization

    Tuesday-Thursday, June 4-6 photo narratives

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